misunderstanding – Wannabe Christian Doorman

Why Don’t You Just Get It!!??

The original title was going to be, “I want to be Instructional, Not Judgemental”, but I do think that the above title, gets more to the point.

This post is probably going to cover how we have all felt, at some time or another. My hope is that this will end up being more Instructional, rather than Judgemental…???

I think that a picture would be a good place to start with.

There were two parties, who when they came together, they just got on each others nerves. When they left each other, both would have a need to let go of certain things, that just annoyed them.

Both parties thought that they were being the bigger party, by not letting the other one know, just what was really on their mind.

When both parties met, they would both bring what they thought was water, to their meetings. Unbeknown to both parties, they were actually bringing fuel for the fire, that was always present, whenever they met.

Both parties would try to quench the fire, with their “Water”, to always find that things would always just flare up, right in front of their faces. The more they would try to quench the fire, the worst it would get.

Both parties, sadly came to the point of, “Perhaps I shouldn’t engage in this anymore, as when I do, it just keeps on going wrong!”

End of picture setting.

We may be able to laugh at the above picture, but, it isn’t a laughing matter, if you are ever caught up in such situation. It’s quite the opposite, it can be very frustrating and painful. 😦

If we do find ourselves in such a situation, then how can we do any better?

In the above picture, there was no ill intent, but both parties were bringing fuel to the meeting instead of water.

Can we have a better understanding of what we are bringing with us, if things just always end up going wrong? Instead of just focusing on what the other party is doing wrong, could we ask, is there something that I could do better? (Better might be doing something in a correct way, or it could just be doing something in a different way?)

Could we gain an insight into the situation, that might help us to understand what is happening, which could possibly help us to go to the meeting with something else, other than the “Water” (fuel) that we may have been bringing?

Is there a something that we are doing, or even not doing, that is adding fuel to the situation, that we are just missing?

Trying to spot the something that is missing, or that which we are just missing can be a very difficult thing to do, but if we could see it, could it then be the difference that we are looking for?

Would help from someone outside of the situation, be useful? If that help could come from an unbiased experienced source, then how much better, could that be?

I’m always going to point to Our Lord God Almighty as being the best source to go to, when we are struggling with anything.

As much as we would like to change the thoughts or actions of the other party, can we remember that the person that we have the greatest influence over is, ourselves?

If do have to bring fuel to a meeting, then could we do so knowingly, and then try to measure out as little as possible, at any given moment? Instead of just throwing it all onto the fire at once, could we try to feed it in, one drop at a time?

Even if we are going to be perceived as “Judgemental”, could we still try to be “Instructional” in our thoughts and actions, and hope that we can do this with Grace and Love, taking the lead, instead of letting pain and frustration, take a hold of the reins?

For a better path to take, it’s always going to be that much better for us, if we can take our difficulties to Our Lord God, and seek out His path, for how we should go forward with what we are facing.

Our Lord God, Please help all who are facing difficult situations. Please lead and guide us in the best actions that we can take, so that we can follow Your promptings, for where we should go, and for how we should act. Amen.

Six of one, and half a dozen of another?

This might possibly be a follow on from last week’s post.
Hopefully it will also stand up all on it’s own.

If you try your hand at something new, then how do you feel when trying it for the first time?

If you finish something and then offer it up, but then someone else looks at it and then just adds a little extra, then how can you end up feeling?

For me it can be a case of, six of one snd half a dozen of another.

First reaction can be, did I get it wrong????
Is there a valid reason to why this little extra has been added?
Should I have done this little extra in the first place?

Next reaction (or even the first) could be, ….
What have you done with my work????
It was finished!
Nothing else was needed.
Why have you ruined what I have just done?

So, was the little extra needed in the first place???

Read the title of this post for the answer to that one.

The real question of this post is, how will you react, if someone adds a little extra to what you have just done?

Will you take offence and be upset by …… being done?
This is where the enemy can whisper in our ears, “Just look at what they have done!” Or, “How dare they do ……. with what you have just done.”

If we listen to this thought pattern, then upset is very likely to follow, along with disillusionment possibly not far behind. Which could then possibly leave us with the thought of, “Next time I just won’t even bother trying.”
Not a good place to end up at.

Or could we look at extra, and then do it ourselves the next time we try to do …… ?
Does the extra actually improve what has already been done?
Is it an enhancement to ……… ?

In order to see any improvements to what we have just done, then we need to be willing to see that things can be done better.

To do this we need to be willing to take on guidance from an outside source. (Even if we don’t initially agree with it.)

Sometimes, whether the extra is needed can be black and white.
There can be a definite answer and someone needs to be corrected. (This could so easily be either party involved.)

But more often than not, we can find ourselves in shades of grey, or to put it another way, differences of opinion.

How do we deal with it, when it could be a difference of opinion, that is at the root of the extra being added?

Will we try to rally people to our Way of thinking?
Look, this is actually how it is!
Or will you just hear what I am saying. ????

But is this just trying to justify your point of view?

Can we do better than this?

Could we try to understand what has happened?
Could we try to bring understanding to the one who brought the extra, without causing offence? (Sometimes this may not be an easy task to achieve.)

If we are the one who brought the extra, then how will we react if someone challenges the extra that was brought?
Will we be able to see the others point of view?

Sometimes we can have the best of motives, but the waters can become very muddied without our realising it. Will we also seek to understand the others point of view and then try to respect it, even if it differs from our own?

As a Christian I can also bring the whole thing to my Heavenly Father, for Him to help and guide me in how I should deal with ……
When I do this, will I then listen to His answer/s?
Will I listen if He then corrects me?
Will I listen to to method of how to deal with……. ?

It’s going to be better to listen to my Heavenly Father for how to deal with ……. , rather than to run off on my own and then try to correct or ignore …….. .

Father,
Misunderstanding is what the enemy would love to sow among us.
Help us to be aware of his attempts to disrupt us.
Help us your look to You, Our Loving Heavenly Father, for understanding in place of upset.
Help us to see and understand each other.
Help us to see that different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong, it can sometimes just be different.
Help us to look to You that much more, if we are feeling misunderstood. Amen.