What Did I Just DO!!???

This is something that was written sometime ago now. I think that I can just about remember what the life mistake, that I thought I made, was, still now. The error didn’t have any real lasting effects. I can remember making an apology for where I’d thought that I’d gone wrong, to then be told, that there wasn’t even a need for an apology, which I’m a little bit doubtful about. I’m still thinking that my delivery service, could have been a bit better, than it was? Still, we live and learn.

For those who would like to have some idea of what my supposed mistake was, well … I brought a word/thought about a someone, to the someone, along with another being present, as I thought that I was being led to. For it to then seem to be, not as I thought. Which led me to think, … “What did I just DO!!???” (This is as much as I’m going to share about the details of the … Whatever it was???)

Below is what was written, at the time.

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Making mistakes, can sometimes be a bit on the painful as side. We may even feel that we end up taking the place of the fool. So could we try to, not make mistakes. It sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately for me, in my chess playing/learning, I keep seeing the mistake, just as it happens, or just afterwards. 😦 it would be nice to see it, before it happens.

I can currently find myself in the position of knowing enough to see when it has gone wrong, but just can’t seem to see it before it goes wrong. If I’m not careful, then could this lead me to the thought of, “I just can’t seem to get this! Why do I keep trying? Shouldn’t I just give up, and stop playing altogether?”

That is an option to take. But it is the option that says, “I won’t engage in this anymore!”

For some people, choosing to not engage in a particular action or direction can be the right choice to make, as going the wrong way, can cause a whole world of pain. But for other people, giving up too early, can just mean not reaching your full potential. We can all reach a point, where we have to ask ourselves, “Is this worth it?”

Our Lord God, is The One who has the best answers to that question, if we can just hear His thoughts.

Just because I’ve made a mistake, shouldn’t be reason enough for me to give up. So many times, that can be the enemies thought, trying to get us to the point of disengaging, stopping, of not even trying anymore.

Will we bring our defeats to Our Lord God’s feet, and ask for His council, for what we should do next? Will we then listen for His answers, and then try to act upon them?

In one mistake I made recently, (a life mistake) I was left with the thought of, “I made a right mess of that, just what was I thinking?”

I was kind of, at the point of all the above, wondering, “Why did I try to do this?” The hardest part of it all, was that I was trying to follow, where I thought that my God was leading me to go. And then, I feel as if I’ve just fallen, flat on my face! Gone and put my foot, firmly into my mouth.

So now what? Do I stop following where I think my God is leading me to go, because I feel that I got it wrong?

Absolutely Not! No, instead I have a need to sit at His feet, and then seek His thoughts, on what happened, and more importantly, what to do next.

The first major restoring part for me, was when I realised that I needed to forgive myself, for getting wrong, the parts that I thought, I’d got wrong. (Our Lord God is the only One who can actually judge correctly.)

Once I had forgiven myself, for getting it wrong, then the raging storm in my head, was settled or at least subdued enough, so that I could then start thinking, a little bit more rationally again. I was even able to perceive some of my Heavenly Father’s thoughts again, and then do some things that almost certainly, needed to be done.

I’m still currently in the position of, “Lord, this is in Your hands, and I’ll endeavour to leave it in Your hands.” If there are things that I need to do, then I need to do them. Equally, if there are things that I need to leave alone, then I need to leave them alone.

If there is a lesson or two to learn, then hopefully, I can learn it quickly, but I don’t need to be on a constant replay, thinking, “If only this or that could have occurred.”

I need to learn any lessons that I can, but also to cut away the veil of “What if’s.”

I also need to try to remember that “Everybody Blunders”, and try to not be so hard on myself.

Another thought that’s kind of keeps coming back to me, goes along the lines of, “failure in my eyes, isn’t necessarily failure in Your eyes.” I don’t get to see the full picture. So, even though it looked like a mess in my eyes, are You doing something, that’s unseen to me???