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Apparently, I’ve been involved in a Hit and Run???

I’ve pondered for a while, of should I publish, just keep this one as a personal record, or even just delete it?
Why am I publishing this one now???
In effect it’s the long version of something that happened to me, that has now been posted on my other blog site. The short version can be read Here.
This Long version is the warts and all testimonial of what happened, and how I dealt with it. (Badly, is how I feel that I mostly dealt with it, as I struggled to see the difference between Glass and Sugar.)

Below is what was mostly written, as it was happening.
As always, it’s your choice as to whether it’s worth reading, or not???
(This one which I would be happy for you to not read. 🙂 )

____________________________

Unfortunately, no, this is not a joke. I have a letter from the Met police stating (or so I thought) that my car was involved in an incident and that the driver of the car failed to stop and exchange details.

This was, still is, news to me.

One of the first things that I did was to quickly look at my car. No apparent damage there then. No paint marks, no dents or broken lights. Have I really been involved in an incident then? (I will try to use language that doesn’t assume blame. I would not like to self incriminate myself by using the wrong word. Incident instead of accident being an example. I hope and pray that I can use the correct terms.)

Should I even be writing this?
No problem with writing it, but should I publish it?
At this point in time, I don’t know. If you are reading it, then the answer appears to be yes. At the moment I just need to take the next step, which is write it, so that I can then have a statement of where I am, at this point in time.

So where am I, at this point in time?
Two sleep-ness nights and a couple of very dry tasting meals, and I think that I am starting to gain some level of peace. (Of sorts)

Back to where I left off. First look at my car. No apparent damage.
Is this letter some kind of bad joke?
Is it a scam?
Or is it genuine?
The answer to these questions is, “I do not know.”
Has anybody been hurt? Again, I don’t know, but it is another worry to deal with, along with concern of how could this of happened, and what does it mean now?

If it is a scam, then I wouldn’t want to use the contact details in the letter or the prepaid envelope. I would rather use the 111 number to contact the police, or go to my local police station. If it is a scam, then the police should be told about it. If it is genuine, then the need to contact the police, in the right way, is all the more important.

Part of my asking, “Is this a scam?” Is because the letter is addressed to a “Mr Somebody else” (The name on the letter is a name, I am just using “Mr Somebody else”)
Who is this Mr Somebody else?
The letter has my car registration details at the top of the letter, but it then states, “Dear Mr Somebody else”. This very much so confuses me.

What do I know?
Very little at this point in time. I have a letter stating (again, or so I thought) that, on a date at a time, my car was involved in an incident. (The term used in the letter was actually “alleged”, an important point that I missed.)
Was I in my car on this date, at the stated time?
I mostly cycle to work, so it is a question. Short version, yes. I think that I was in my car at the stated time and date.
Was I at the location stated?
I was in the local area stated, but I do not think that I was at the exact location stated. The location looks as if it could be a general location, and not an exact location. This confuses me. Was I at the stated location or not? (If only I understood the location section of the letter, straight away.)

I am being asked, “where was I?” at a specific date and time, to the minute. “On my way to work” is the only real answer, that I can give. I don’t drive my car looking at the clock, this would be a dangerous thing to do. So, I was on my way to work, at the stated time.

This next paragraph is written after the event. I didn’t write it at the time as I didn’t want to self incriminate myself.
I have stated that, initially I didn’t see any damage, and this is true. But on a second look, I did see some new scuff marks on the front bumper of the passenger side of the car. This added to my freaked out mind that much more.
Short version of my continued freak out.
In my mind, the dustbin collector truck that I probably went past on a road, is where I thought that I could have possibly hit a wheelie bin, and then injured a bin collector, which was then caught by a camera on the truck. This was all theory, but my freaked out mind was taking this theory, far too seriously.
Back to the time the account was written.

It has not been easy to come to this point where I can clearly state, I don’t know what has happened. I have very much so needed to apply three little words. Accept, Repent and Forgive.

I have needed to Accept that this letter has come to me, and that I need to deal with it. I need to cut away the veil of what ifs, and instead, try to concentrate on what is. (Oh, if only I could have Not listened to the what ifs.) I need to face up to the indication that something has happened and try to deal with it in a responsible manner.

Repent. I have a need to take actions that should lead to the issue being resolved in the best possible manner, without adding fuel to a fire, that appears to be burning. (Am I adding fuel by writing this???)

I have needed to forgive all who have caused me the stress of these past two days. (I think that it is wise to not go into too much detail on this one.) I endeavour to forgive all, as this is my route to some semblance of peace.

I know that there is a storm raging outside, but part of my belief is that we can have peace, in the middle of a storm, if we follow the prompting of One who is Greater than us. Our Lord God Almighty.

I also have this belief that, the truth will set you free. (That is part of John 8:32) So I need to endeavour to walk in the truth, and not hide away from what is happening. I also need to keep applying the three little words of accept, repent and forgive, which is currently not an easy task to do.

So there we have it.
I’m in a bit of a pickle, of some sort, that is unknown to me.
I also need to stop being the walking zombie that I could so easily be turning into (more like, had turned into), and instead look to my Heavenly Father for guidance instead.

______________________

Third night of troubled sleep, and it is all still there.
The only good thing about troubled sleep, is that I then have time to ponder the situation with my Lord God.

Current thoughts that have been going round my mind.

Am I actually innocent until proven guilty?
Or, now that I have been issued the letter, am I presumed guilty because an allegation has been made against me, and I now need to prove my innocence? (It is, I believe, innocent until proven guilty.)

No evidence has been presented to me yet, other than a general location, and a date and time.
What is the exact location of the incident? (It was in the letter, but my freaked out mind missed it.)
What happened?
What are the facts, that are available, at this present time?

I would like answers to these questions!

The other thought that keeps coming back to me is, “How did my car come into contact with another entity?”
I say entity, because I don’t know what it is that has come into contact with my car, if any contact has occurred?
Did the entity hit my car or did my car hit the entity? (My car did not come into contact with any entity, as it was not involved in the incident.)
That is an important question to ask, as it then opens the door to blame. Who is to blame for the contact that is alleged to have happened?
I know that it looks bad for me, as I drove away. But I drove away, because I was unaware of anything happening. (As nothing did happen!) As I have also previously stated, this also a worry, the prospect of driving away without knowing that something has happened.

Another thought that keeps coming back is, “In law, what maters more, facts or theories?”
I have very few facts, but a lot of theories, most of which are probably nonsense. (Which proved to be utter nonsense.) Do they even have any place in the world of law? If nonsense theories are spoken out, could they then trip you up??
I will endeavour to keep all my theories to myself, as they are just that, theories and not facts. I will be interested to hear what a legal expert has to say about this thought.
Can, should I keep quiet about any theories that I may or may not have, if I even have any at all? (Yes I had a theory, and it was doing me no good.)

This is proving to be very stressful. Almost reducing me to tears, on occasions.
My wife, who is disabled, is also feeling the strain. She is less able to process what is going on, and if we were to even try to discuss this issue together, well, it would probably cause more stress than help.
So we both, seem to have agreed to not talk about it. (Which was probably the best course of action that we could both take. She was with me in it, and offered as many hugs as she could, when she was able to.)
My counsel is currently coming from my pondering with my Lord God Almighty.

I did call a free 24 hour legal helpline that is available to me, a benefit from the union.
I spoke to someone straight away, who then said that they would refer me to a solicitors firm, who would then contact me within three working days.
Hence my waiting, instead of just going straight to the Police Station. It makes sense to try to understand the situation, to the best that I can before going to the Police Station. Which means, waiting to talk to someone who knows about these things.

This free legal advice is also making me think that it is only a fishing line for people who are in need, and as such, will then ask for representation?
How free is this, Free 24 hour legal helpline?
It’s proving itself to not be 24 hour, but wait three working days.
Three possible days of waiting. More as it is currently the weekend.

I continue to write this, as it helps to keep things straight in my own head, and, I hope, reduces the endless playback of what is going on and where will it go to?

The question of publishing or not?
I am currently just writing. The question of, “If or when to publish?” will be looked into later.
My Lord God does have the power of veto over me, and He will be my lead for what or when to do all things.

This is were my writing at the time finishes. The next bit is written after the issue has been resolved.

That morning I did go to church. It was a very good choice to do so. A member of our church was a police man. As I entered, he was available straight away. Time was short, but he helped me to understand what I was looking at, and helped me to know what steps to take next.
He assured me, the letter was genuine and not a fake. As such it did need to be responded to, and that I could use the email address in the letter. He even said that he recognised the name in the letter from a different matter.
He also pointed out that the location was exact and not a general location, as I had convinced myself that it could be. This was the starting point of me realising, that I was never anywhere near the location of the incident.
I feel now that it should have been instant relief, but it wasn’t. My brain was so frazzled, that it took time to percolate through.

Relief finally started to come after I wrote an email, basically stating, “It’s not me, I wasn’t there. I was somewhere else. You could even check a camera at a location for my time of passing it.”
I also put a small note, stating that the letter had caused me, “some concern.” Biggest understatement ever.

In my mind, I had been one step away from being thrown into jail, for for breaking the arm of a bin man, who was going to sue me for every penny I had. That would then leave me uninsurable on any car, ever again.
I know, a complete OTT reaction.
It wasn’t there all the time, but every now and then… (This may or may not be going over to slight over-exaggeration… 🙂 )
It’s certainly fair to say that, it had been a stressful time.

A couple of days later I received a reply to my email, and of course, I’m all in the clear.
I also receive an explanation of why I was sent the letter.
An incident had occurred at a location, and in order to try and find the person responsible, letters were sent out to car owners of the make of the car that was in the general area, at the time of the incident, which included me. 😦

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Something of our Testimony, Part 2

If you haven’t read Part 1, then it might make sense to read that one first.
You know, read chapter 1 before chapter. 2 🙂

There is going to be a lot of references to past posts here. (Links should be highlighted.)

If Father makes something stand out to you, then that might be one for you to have a closer look at.

So, what have I (we) learnt form all our troubles?

I think that my wife summed it up nicely when I spoke to her about writing these posts.
She said, “It’s like God has been the glue, holding us together.”

What a true statement that is!
If we didn’t have the help of our Heavenly Father, then how would we have kept it together? It was tough enough with His help.

The short answer to what have I learnt, is a lot of the posts that I have posted on Wannabe Christian Doorman. Which all (hopefully) say that it is better to turn to God rather than to just rant and rave at Him.

If we need to let steam off, then Father is able to listen to us and to help us.

But we do need to come to the place where we run to Father, rather than just keep moaning to, or at Him.

We need to be willing to listen to Him.

One of the pictures He spoke to me was I see a Vessel. He was asking me to let Him in, even though I thought I couldn’t handle anything.

I’ve learnt that sometimes you need to choose life, even when it hurts. The Calling Abyss explains this one.

I was fortunate that I already knew about the power of forgiveness, (Forgiveness is Key) and it has served me well to be quick to forgive. (Although sometimes, I’ve not been as quick to do this as I should.)

The idea of accepting where you are, came from a counsellor who explained that just accepting where you are can have the ability of stopping you from feeling like a victim.

In effect, it is you making the choice to remain where you are, even though you don’t like it.

It took me some time to be convinced of that one, but I can now say that there is a truth to it.

Add to accept, repent and forgive, and you then have three little words of power.

Yes, another post of, Accept, Repent and Forgive, there is power here!

In order to truly learn that message, I had the opportunity to put what I wrote into practise, hence Accept, Repent and Forgive (a practical example)

I’ve also come to the idea that sometimes you just need to do something, instead of just stopping and dwelling on poor little me.

Why is it that when you have troubles people can tend to tell you to rest up, and do nothing? looks into this idea a bit more.

We do need to use wisdom, when looking for what to do.
Trying to climb Mount Everest when your suffering with fatigue is never going to be a good idea.
But a small helpful word to someone, could possibly help you also.
There is a blessing to be had in giving.

I have found that as I turn to Father, then His grace is sufficient for me.

Sometimes I have been to slow to turn to him and sometimes I didn’t even know quite what that meant.

It is in them times that I was just doing what I wrote about in, How Do You Pray when you feel you just can’t do anything?

I’ve learnt that it is good to sing praises to God at all times, and all the more so when you are in the middle of a storm. “I’ll Raise a Hallelujah” is a battle cry, looks into this one. (In a round about way).

I have learnt that you do have a choice, as to what you will do.

For me I have found that it is better to remain in the place of, yet I will praise the Lord, in spite of all that is going on around you.
Habakkuk sums this one up nicely.

Habakkuk 3:17-19
Though the fig-tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the sheepfold and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.

I’ve also learnt that sometimes you need to look hard to find things to be thankful for.
It can be easy to see the things to complain about, but to find the blessings that you do have, well, that can take a bit more effort to find.
It’s a search that is worth doing though.
As a simple song says,
Count your blessings.
Count them one by one.
Count your blessings, see what the Lord has done.

There are plenty more lessons that I have learnt through all that we have gone through.
These are the lessons which Father has lead me to share here.
I do have an archive page of Posts about Struggles where further post can be found. (An entire archive page about struggles… Have I known some struggles then…??? 🙂 )

I am also aware that things could have been so much worse, and that there are some, whose load is heavier than ours.
No matter how heavy your load is, if you can come to the place of running to Father, then you too can know the power of
2 Corinthians 12:9
 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Writing this post, has just kind of flowed.
Starting it was a different matter.
I had so many thoughts flying around, then I was distracted and then I had to say no to, I’ll just do this instead.
It almost feels as if someone didn’t want it to be written…???
Once I started, it just worked.
Sometimes we just need to start, and then trust that Father will lead us to where He wants us to go.

Father,
Again and again I say thank you, that You are for us.
Help us all to look to You for all our needs.
You are our Loving Father who is for us.
Help us all to remain in you, all of our days.
Amen.

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Something of our Testimony, Part 1

This a post that I never really wanted to write. But it just seems right to do this now. I do have to follow Father’s prompting, after all.

So why am I writing this now?
It is a follow up to the two previous posts of, It just isn’t Fair and How can a God who is all Loving allow ….. to happen?
It might be possible to argue that it’s easy to write what I did from a happy place, but I have known troubles, as you are about to read. It is because of the troubles that I have known, that I can say, His grace is sufficient for me.

This has to come with a warning. If you don’t like sad stories, then stop reading now.

So, where to start?

My wife and I had been married for a couple of years and was expecting our first child. Times were looking good. That is until my wife had her first scan. Our baby’s heart wasn’t beating.

That was just the start of a very bad year.

She had a miscarriage shortly after the scan, but then needed to have a procedure to clear away the remainder that was left. Between the miscarriage and the procedure I managed to have an accident with the car.

A squirrel ran into the road. The first car stopped, so did the second. I was the third car, and didn’t stop in time. Instead I tried to fit a big car into a small gap, (looking for a space to get out of trouble) only to find that it didn’t fit. Hence the car was written off, to add to the mix of troubles.

The day of the procedure came and my mum took my wife to the hospital. I had no car after all.
That morning, when I said goodbye to my wife, was last time I saw her as she should have been.

I went to the hospital to pick her up to find that she had reacted badly to the anaesthetic. I think that she was a bit groggy and not with it at that point. The nurses were concerned but not overly so.
So she stayed in for what was meant to be a night.

I came back the following morning to find the nurses were more concerned. She was having seizures. When I saw the first one it was scary. The really scary bit is when you start to become immune to them (because you have seen to many by that point) and you then just go, oh here comes another one.

The doctor came in time and gave some medication to stop the seizures. Quite what happened next is a bit of a blur now. But my my wife stayed in hospital for a further night or nights while I went home again.

The next big scare was after a lumber puncture. One of the tests they did in order to diagnose what was happening.

She had a few small seizures, but the doctors didn’t want to use medication at that point as they were small and hoped that it wouldn’t be needed.
Short version, they were wrong.
The nurses were following the doctors advice, and I needed to make a fuss when it was clear that it was the wrong route to take.
She did eventually get the medication she needed and I went home while, my wife rested again.
The night was more stressful than I have made it sound here. (That was the short version.)

A couple of day’s later I received a phone call from the hospital asking me to go in.
As I entered they were moving my wife to an ambulance to transfer her to a neurological ward in another hospital. They were basically telling me things were going very wrong. I can still remember one thing they said to me.
It was, ” I don’t think that you understand how bad things are. Your wife could stop breathing at any moment and we won’t be able to resuscitate her.”

As I said, it went very wrong.

She didn’t die.
She did however spend a week, or there about, in a coma, gradually coming back round.
When she did come out of the coma, she was left with life changing health issues to deal with.

We did, after a while, get the diagnosis of a stroke. Bleeds and clots of the smaller blood vessels, which is worse apparently, on both sides of her brain.

My wife spent the best part of a year doing a tour of London hospitals as the doctors tried to find a cause for the stroke. Not an easy task to complete. Many things were ruled out, but no definitive answer was found.

Many months went by (possibly about 7 or 8 months) before my wife was able to start coming home, for overnight stays to start off with. After almost a year she was able to come back home, with a full time carer.

She still had mobility issues and problems with short term memory.
The short term memory issues meant that learning anything was (and still is to an extent) that much more difficult. Not what you need when there is a need to learn how to adapt to your new normal.
On top of that she was also registered as partially sighted. It should have been partially blind, but my wife would have none of it. “I’m not blind, look I can see.” She insisted to me.
It was the same battle when it came to the disabled badge. “I don’t need one of them, I’m not disabled.”
“Sorry, but yes you are”, I had to gently insist.

In the early part of her recovery, she had lost a lot of her memory.
She forgot that we were married. She thought that her wedding ring was an engagement ring. It was only when I showed her our wedding pictures that she accepted that we were married.
To say that her recovery was tough is very much so an understatement.

At one point I did buy a motorbike to be able to get about and back and forth from the hospital.
It got stolen, and the kids who stole it were then riding it in the local park.
I almost got it back at one point. Me and my brother were looking for it, on the day it was stolen, and saw it coming towards us. He blocked the road with his car and I then tried to close the gap on the pavement. As the bike was going past me, I jumped at it. I must have looked like superman flying through the air, only to discover that I don’t have the power to fly. Hence, I landed on the floor shouting arrrrrr.
It was probably for the best that I didn’t catch them, it’s not good to dwell on what could have happened if I had.

I ended up buying a better bike, and a better lock/s. So I was mobile again.

I remember when the twin towers came down. I watched it on a TV at work. I saw it and just thought, “Oh, that looks bad, but I’m off to the hospital now.” It’s not that I didn’t care, it’s just that my attention was on what I (and my wife) had to deal with.

There is lots I haven’t said. It would probably take an entire book (or series of them) to note down everything. (If I could even remember it all.)

Many people were very supportive, my wife’s parents were very much so included in this, as any good parents would be. But they live a two hour car journey away. So they were limited to what they could do.
What they could do, they did do, and both me and my wife are very thankful for all that they did.

My mum, being local, was able to be more involved. She was and still is a great help to us both.

Our church was very much so praying for us.
I was told that on the first Sunday when it went very wrong, the church spent that morning praying for us both.
In the early days when my wife was in the local hospital, she was not short of visitors. There might have even been someone scheduling who could go in and at what time. I always had the last slot.
Even when she was in the London hospitals, there was still quite regularly someone calling in on her.

On the day when it went very wrong, our pastor came to the ward, where we were, and with great faith and boldness, both he and his wife prayed for instant healing.
The way they prayed left me half expecting her to just get up, but there was the other side of me that just kind of laughed.
Sorry. It was just so different to what I was experiencing at that point.
Both me and my wife are still waiting for fulfilment of that prayer, that did have that something extra to it.
An answer postponed is not a no, just a delay.

It has been tough at times to know that, God is able to heal my wife, but for whatever reason, He just hasn’t done so…. yet.
It is during these times that we just need to trust and obey, and follow His leading.

I’ll be finishing this post here, it is a bit longer than I thought it was going to be.
But for this week, it will be a two for one posting 🙂
Due now is Part 2, What did we learn through all this?

______________________

There is an update/correction to this testimony. It centers around something that happened, that I just glossed over. It was effectively My Ugly Rock. It started with a picture, that I was given, which then turned into me dealing with my Ugly Rock. Which then became a mini series of posts. (Numbering 5) For anyone who would like to read them, the first one is…

Will you work with Our Lord, to shape, your Ugly Rock?