forgivness – Wannabe Christian Doorman

The Release that Forgiveness Brings.

This week, as I write this, has had its ups and downs. I’m not going to share the full details, it would take too long and be of little value. But I will share an observation, or two, that I’ve made, some of which, that I kind of already knew, but then had to put into practice.

I had a major misunderstanding.
I was very much so annoyed by this misunderstanding, and so was the other person involved.
Our conversation become a bit heated.
We both parted feeling frustrated.

I, of course was fully in the right!!! …… ??? 🙂

How much are we ever fully in the right???

There are some small things that I did, that I know, could have been taken the wrong way, and as such fuelled the misunderstanding.
From my point of view, the other was more wrong than me. But did I do or say things that didn’t help???

Needless to say, I was operating from a position of frustration, annoyance, and dare I even say it….. anger. 😦

Thankfully at some point I recognised this and kind of knew that I needed to forgive the other party involved.
So I endeavoured to do just that.

I said aloud, “I forgive the one who has been and who is upsetting me.” (Not necessarily the exact words I used, but hopefully you get the idea.) I didn’t say this to the person, face to face, but just to the room that I was in.
Saying “I forgive you” face to face, would probably have only been adding more fuel to the fire.

Change then came about in the situation, or more to the point, in me.
A large amount of the heat, just left.
I would like to say that in was a picture of serene peace, but that would be a blatant lie. But I was, on the whole, a lot better than I was.

Anger and frustration were no longer my main driving force, pushing me to justify myself and point out the others errors.

The problem remained exactly the same, but at least now I could try to do something about it without the heat of pain, anger, and frustration putting the gas pedal to the floor and steering me in an unhelpful direction.

So what did I do next?

I felt that I needed to write an email, to try and state clearly, without the emotions. what I thought had gone on, from my point of view.

I did not want to do this.
I kind of thought that anything that I would do, would be adding fuel to the fire.
I just wanted to either ignore everything or go directly to a supervisor and try to state my point of view to them. (It was a work related situation, of sorts.)

In the end I listened to the small quiet voice, that just said, “Write an email.”
The email was written, with (I believe) the help of that same small quiet voice. Then I sent it to the one that I wanted nothing to do with. …..
Then nothing.

There was no phone call or reply email.
Time was going by and something needed to be done, because a deadline was approaching fast. So now it was time to make a call and seek a supervisor’s help/point of view.

During the call with the supervisor, it became apparent to me that the individual who I sent the email to wasn’t in that day.
They hadn’t even seen the email, so couldn’t have even responded to it.
What good fortune for me. 🙂

The supervisor appraised the situation (by seeing a copy of the email sent) and agreed that working with a different person was probably best.
Other things were clarified, and a plan to go forward was put in place.

How I feel so greatly blessed for sending an email that I didn’t want to send. (Were my actions being directed by Someone much Greater than me… ???)

My meeting with the new person was tense to begin with, but as we both just focused on going forward (without speaking about the history) the tension soon eased and we could concentrate on the work that needed to be done, in as friendly manner as we could.

I would like to say that full reconciliation has taken place, but it hasn’t. I’m unlikely to need to deal with the person I had the troubles with, so how much effort should be put into reconciliation?

Could me seeking reconciliation, in this instance, be causing more pain than is needed with little up side?
Could seeking reconciliation, be me trying to say, “I was right, all along!” ????

This post started as a comment I made to a YouTube video.
It seems quite apt to end this post by repeating that same comment here now.

I had a situation that caused me a great deal of frustration this week.
There was plenty of Heat that went away as I said aloud “I forgive the one one who is doing this to me.”
The problem remained, but I was then able to deal with it …. without the Heat playing it’s part. I do feel that My Lord directed me and the problem is mostly dealt with, small details remain, but they are small and are manageable.
The Power of Forgiveness is Great, and All the more Powerful when done in front of Our Heavenly Father.

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Forgiveness is Key

Forgiveness and Reconciliation are Two very Different Things

Forgiveness is Key

Forgiveness is key is hopefully something which we can all agree on, after all Jesus did say to us (in the Lords prayer) forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

Sometimes this is not an easy thing to do though, and all the more so if we think that the one who has wronged us, doesn’t deserve our forgiveness.

The world will tell us that we should only forgive those who deserve it, but that is not Fathers way.
Father tells us to forgive unconditionally.

If someone has wronged us badly or is continually hurting us then how are we to follow this command?

It helps to know that forgiving someone is for our own good.

It releases us from the pain, hurt and bitterness which unforgiveness causes us.

I think of the hurt, as a hammer that keeps coming down on a hand that is under it.

If you are able to remove your hand from under the blows of the hammer then you should do so.
It’s much easier to forgive if the hammer blows are taken away

But what if you can’t take your hand out of the way of the hammer Blows? Do we still forgive?
Yes I believe I the answer is.

You see when we forgive, even though the hammer blows keep coming down, we then welcome the gauntleted hand of God to come over our hand and absorb the greater part of the blows.
We may still feel the thumping of the hammer, but the blows can be greatly reduced by inviting Father into the situation by forgiving.

Do we remain in this situation though?

Hopefully the hammer blows will be removed, but what if they are not?

It’s at this point that we need to hear Fathers voice that much more for His direction.

You see you can attack the hammer or you can let the hammer keep raining it’s blows down. Whatever you do, it’s best to keep in step with Father.

If Father tells you to remain still, then do that and wait for the bigger hammer to come along and take out the hammer that is hitting you.
He can do it.

Or Father might tell you to turn your hand around, catch the hammer and crush it. (The source of the hurt I’m talking about, not necessarily a person. 🙂 )
If he leads you to do this then you are doing it in his gauntleted hand with his strength added to the mix.
It may well still be a tough journey but you are not alone if you invite Father into the situation….by forgiving.

I can still remember seeing a program about forgiveness.

There were two guests that I can remember.

The first was a parent of a child who had been very badly treated (tortured and killed) by a very bad abuser.
The parent couldn’t forgive the abuser.
The effect of this could clearly be seen on the parents face. She took the hurt and bitterness with her wherever she went.
The audience (the world) all agreed that she was right, not to forgive, even though the pain she was in was clear to see on her face.

The second, was a parent of a child, who had been killed by a terrorist bomb.
The parent had forgiven the bomber who had killed their child.
The audience could not understand this. They were asking, how can you do that, and stating that the bomber didn’t deserve the parents forgiveness.
You could see by looking at the parents face that he was at peace.
The parent explained that it wasn’t the easiest thing he had done but that he did it any way.

Looking at the two side by side I could see the benefit of forgiving and the consequences of not forgiving.

It is for our own good that we are called to forgive.

By forgiving we can then claim hold of Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.

Sometimes we might need to be honest with Father and tell him that we don’t want to forgive and ask for His help with the issue of our unforgiveness.
If we come to Father and ask for his help then he will be there to help us.

We can can sometimes think that to forgive someone, we need to go and look at the person we need to forgive in the eye and then forgive them to their face.
This is not the form of forgiveness that I am talking about.
The forgiveness that I am talking about is that which is done in our heart in our Father’s presence.
If Father prompts us to go further then we do need to listen to Him, but it is the choice we make in our hearts which is the starting point that counts.

Father,
Thank you that you do care for us and that you do forgive us.
Help us to follow your ways.
Help us to forgive others when they have wronged us.
Help us to bring those things and people who hurt us to you.
Help us to work things through with you so that we can truly say, yes I do forgive unconditionally as you call us to.
Amen