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Extreme Forgiving

I had to practice “Extreme Forgiving”, just recently.

There I was, in my car, praise music blaring out, as loud as it would go. I’ll Raise a Hallelujah was pounding throughout the car, and I was screaming at the top of my voice, “I Forgive ######. In the presence of My Lord God, I Forgive ######”.
I had to repeat that several times, with the music blasting away, … many times.
As I said, I had to practice, “Extreme Forgiving”.

I had left work, without even seeing my supervisor, but having left a message of, “Book me a half day holiday, I have a need” (in an email).
My work colleague, who I had left a verbal message with, could clearly see that I was upset. “Drive carefully”, was something like his words to me, as I left.

I know full well the benefits of, forgiving, as I’ve written about it in the past, but this “Extreme Forgiving”, is taking things to a whole new level.

(I do believe that I was better off for having done the “Extreme Forgiving”, even though it didn’t leave me in a fully peaceful state, that I would have liked for it to have done. But the worst of the heat, was kind of removed, and I was able to function on a slightly better level.)

So what had upset me so much, so that I needed to do some “Extreme Forgiving”?

In a nutshell, the social care system, just doesn’t appear to have any care in it, anymore. 😦
I’ve been having a few phrases run round my head, for a while now. “There’s no Care, in the Social Care!” is one such phrase.

It was an email from a social worker, that had sent me over the edge. (There is so much, that I’m not saying here.)

Part of me just wants to put it all out there, every little detail, to expose just how bad it has been for me and my wife.
But then I’m torn, as I’m thinking, what good will it achieve?
The whole system is so broken, what can a rant from me achieve?
Very little, possibly?

What I can say is, the objectives of the care system, has changed dramatically, over the period that my wife has been needing to rely on a personal caring assistant.
When she was first assessed, her quality of life was considered, and as such, she was given a good number of hours for a PA. (Personal Assistant) After this latest assessment, it’s clear to see that this is no longer the case.
The question is more a case of, can you do basic things, such as dress and wash yourself, by yourself. If the answer is “yes”, well then, you’re OK then, and you don’t qualify for any help or hours.
(This is a very simplified basic way of looking at this, but there is also a large amount of truth there.)

From our experience, it seems that the social care system, is now more about cutting costs, which means services, as much as it possibly can.

Without going into too many details, the state of play that we find ourselves in at the present moment is, my wife’s PA hours have been cut by about two thirds, to a level where we think that they won’t meet her needs.
My wife is going to privately fund some extra hours for her PA from her savings, which will be gone after a certain amount of time. (What happens if/when that happens, will be looked at, if/when it happens.)
Even with the privately funded hours, we will see a reduction in the overall care hours. We’ll probably be looking to family and possibly friends to step in to cover any needed shortfalls.

I do believe that having family and friends cover people’s caring needs is part of the caring systems prefered policy now. If friends and family are covering it, then they don’t need to pay for it, kind of thinking.

To me, it seems like they are taking their policy advice from Homer Simpson when he uses the slogan, “Can’t someone else do it” in the episode called, “Trash of the Titans”.

As for me and my wife, we now have to remain focused on continuously seeking to forgive those who are causing us the grief and trials that we are facing. We continue to remember that “We are Blessed” and continue to look to Our Lord God, for what is the best way to go forward.
We do thank Our Lord God, because we Are Blessed!

We also pray for anyone who is facing a similar situation to us, but is missing the blessings that we have.
We pray that they would also be able to look to Our Lord God, and as they do, that He will meet with them, and be the help and guide to them, that He is to us.
Amen.

If you have found yourself upset, annoyed, angry or any other kind of negative feeling, for what you have read here, then I ask that you would forgive those who have caused you to feel this way. (Including me, if it’s needed.)

I don’t want this post to be a source of pain for people, but instead a light for the benefits and power of “Forgiveness”.
So, if you have a need to, please do consider giving it a go. You could try saying the next bit out loud, as many times as is needed, as a starting point???

“I forgive those who have upset me, in the presence of God, I forgive them.”

_________________

That’s the official end of this post. I post this full in the knowledge that very few people are likely to read it.
It’s just how my posts tend to go, which is OK with me.
If you think that there is something here that should be heard by a larger audience, then please do consider clicking on a “like” or “share” function in whatever social media seems good to you.

If you would like to know more about me, I do have an “About” page.

I also have a post, that goes into the sad tale of what happened to us, to leave my wife, in our current situation. Link here

I also have a post, that goes into how we cope, in the here and now, as we wait, for Our Lord God, to heal my wife completely.

____________________

Just for reference, there are a few links to posts about forgiveness and reconciliation, below.

Forgiveness is Key

How do we Forgive, when we Don’t want to?

The Release that Forgiveness Brings.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation are Two very Different Things

Reconciliation Matters

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Can we Gain a Better Perspective?

Last week I wrote about a YouTube video, which I found to have a bit of a difficulty to watch. My difficulty was so great, that I asked my Heavenly Father, “Do I need to stop watching this, as it could take me down a wrong line of thinking?”

The YouTube video in question is,

“God only knows” with “Awesome God” Vocal Motion Show Choir

It may seem a bit strange to ask the question of, “Should I be watching this?” When we are talking about a Christian worship video, but there I was.

The problem that I had, was that when I was listening to the “God only knows” lyrics, I was focusing on the problems that we can all have, at times, too much. Then I was stopping at that point, without understanding where the song is meant to take us to.

After I asked the question of, “Should “I” be listening to this?” I kind of got a sense of, carry on listening to it, but get the real message behind the song.

That message was effectively, “Yes, you can have problems, but, you are not alone. I see you, and all that you have to deal with. You are not alone, for I am with you.”

For me, this message came through, in the form of an echo to the lyrics of, God only knows. (The unspoken echo words are in brackets.)

God only knows what you’ve been through (I see it)
God only knows what they say about you (I hear it)
God only knows how it’s killing you (You’re not alone)
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows (and I am with you)

Instead of the verstion that I was hearing of, “You can have problems that are unseen”, then stopping there. The unspoken echo, gives me a much better perspective, of what the song is meant to be about, all along. That we are not unseen, that we are not unheard, that we are not alone. Instead, we Are, seen heard, and held, by Our Lord God Almighty.

What a change in perspective, the echo, gave to me!

Deuteronomy 31:6

6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

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What Percentage Focus, between Problems and Our God?

There is a YouTube video, that I think is superb, but painful to watch.
It’s a joining of two songs, that speaks a truth, that can sometimes be difficult to reconcile.

The YouTube video in question is,
“God only knows” with “Awesome God” Vocal Motion Show Choir

If you watch it, you will see a video that shows that Our God IS an Awesome God, who reigns with Wisdom, Power and Love.
But at the same time, we can have unseen problems, that can be difficult to bear. (From the lyrics of “God only knows.”)
The the young people, holding up boards with problems written on them, has a visual power, that just brings a something extra to it, all of its own.

As I watch it, I feel that I need to give a Greater attention to the “Our God, is an Awesome God” lyrics, in order to not be unbalanced, by the video.

To me, it is a picture of how life can be.
We can Know that Our God is Awesome and All Powerful and have everything under His control, all at the same time as we are struggling with unseen problems, that we feel could be more than we are able to bear.

This takes me back to the idea of this week’s post title.
How much of our focus do we give to our difficulties, and how much do we give to Our Lord God, who Has the answers.

In times of trouble, are we able to lift our eyes, when our world maybe falling apart?
Instead of giving 100% of our attention to our problems, could we aim for a more healthy 50-50 split?
Could we even increase the percentage in favour of Our God?
60-40?
Or 70-30?
Or even up to 90-10?
I’m stopping short of suggesting 100% focus on God, as if we do have real problems, then we don’t want to go and bury our heads in the sand. That’s just denial of the problem.
(Although, for a time, 100% focus on God could be good, such as a in a worship meeting.)

In good times, are we building good practices into our lives, that we can fall back onto, when trouble comes along?
What we do when times are good, also matters. When Paul and Silas were singing in the prison, I think that I’m on safe ground to say that it wasn’t the first time that they had spent, worshipping God. (Acts 16:25-30)
Could we do likewise, and always be seeking and praising Our Lord God Almighty?

In finishing this post, I’m going to bring the focus back onto Our Lord God, by quoting some of the words, from one of the songs, in the video, that is mentioned, in this post.

Our God, is an Awesome God.
He reigns from heaven above.
With Wisdom, Power and Love.
Our God is an Awesome God.

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To Upset, to Receive?

I was at church this morning. In front of me, there was a parent with their small child. The child was very well behaved throughout most of the service. But, there came the point, when the child had just had enough.

The parent did a great job at trying to console and comfort the child, but unfortunately, it was to no avail. The child was making it’s unhappy state, known to all. Not in a major disturbance, but enough, to be uncomfortable for the parent. In the end, the parent carried the child outside, in a calm and relaxed manner.

As this was happening, I was kind of thinking, sometimes, can we be like that child?
Can we be in a place where we could be blessed, in some way, but because of the state that we find ourselves in, we are just not able to take the blessing on board?
Can it be that sometimes, we can be too consumed with an upset of some kind, so that we can then become unable to see anything else, other than the upset, that we are dealing with?
Even to the point of where we are unable to see the answer to our upset, even if it was next to, or directly in front of us?

My Lord God,
If we are ever to upset to receive anything from You, then please, gently let us know, that this is the case.
Please help us to hand all of our concerns and upsets, over to You.
Please help us, with all that we have to face.
Please, open our eyes to Your Good Blessings, that we have already received, and that we can take hold of.
Please lead and guide us, in the way, that is best for us to go.
Thank you that You are with us, and that You do lead and guide us.
Amen.

_____________________________

When the darkness comes, Seek The Light!!

The Calling Abyss

We Are Blessed!!

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Do you Really Begrudge me Two Carrot Sticks?

My wife was preparing some salad to go with her lunch.
As she was doing this, she asked me, if I could cut a rather large carrot, into carrot sticks. This I did. As I was doing this I quality inspected one carrot stick, which she might of missed?? 🙂
As I was finishing up, I said, “There’s a charge for this, you know?” Then I picked up one carrot stick, and placed it onto my plate. 🙂

“Hey, that’s mine!” My wife shrieked at me.

“Are you really going to begrudge me two carrot sticks, even after I’ve just cut them up for you?” Was my response.

We did end up smiling and laughing about it, in the end. 🙂

I was not leaving my wife short of carrot sticks, as it was a larger than usual carrot, which could have been equally shared between us. Even with the two that I’d taken, she still had about the same, or even a bit more, than she normally has. The six carrot sticks, were actually enough, which she did agree to, in the end.

It’s kind of left me thinking, “How do we react to Our Lord God, if He Asks us, for a small bit, of the Great Abundance, that He has given to us?”

Will we happily hand over two carrot sticks, knowing that we have enough? Or will we think, “But that’s All meant to be Mine!!” … ???

We have been given, such a great abundance, from Our Lord God.
If He asks for a small bit of our time or resources to be directed to …. , then how willing, are we to hand over …. back to Him, as He asks us to?

Are we able to recognise the Great Abundance, that we have been given, and as such, then be able to happily and joyfully, hand a small portion back to Him, as He directs us to?

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Reconciliation Matters

I had a picture about reconciliation, just recently.
The said picture, follows on, below.

There were two fists, demonstrating two parties, that had a problem between each other, which lead to difficulties. Both fists, had a need to be forgiving towards each other.

The two fists, both went away from each other, and both, separately, forgave the other party.
Forgiving, has the effect of opening the closed fist, to then become an open hand.

Reconciliation is a process that enables the two open hands to reconnect in a friendly way that then leads to a friendly handshake.

Without reconciliation, the two open hands, that have both been forgiving towards each other, can then start slapping against each other.
This can then lead to the open hand becoming a fist yet again, needing yet more forgiveness to happen all over again.
Both fists are aware of the need for forgiveness, and as such, go away separately, and go through the process of forgiving, all over again.

Without reconciliation, there is a danger that both fists, can get caught in an endless cycle of continuous hurt and forgiveness. 😦

Reconciliation Matters!

When reconciliation is needed, then listening to Our Lord God Almighty, will always be my best council to follow.
What is He speaking to you, about any situation, that you maybe facing?
Try to hear and follow, His guiding.

I can’t give you a full explanation of the best way to follow, in regards to reconciliation. So instead I’ll try to list a few words, and ask that you seek, Our Lord God’s council, if you can see a need for reconciliation, in something that affects you.

Do I understand the others point of view?

Can I try to understand their point of view better?

Can I try to be understood, without slapping the other party in the face?

Do I need to change what I am doing, in some way?

My Lord God, please help me to see and understand Your thoughts and Your Path, for what I am facing.

_______________________

If you are lead to, then consider clicking on one of the links below, for some further thoughts.

Reconciliation and Forgiveness are two very different things.

How can we help someone, who doesn’t want help?

A Hot Cup of Tea (The delivery method matters)

Forgiveness is Key

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Less of me, More of Him!

The more of Him, being, Our Lord God Almighty.

I was writing a post, a while back, and I thought it was finished, which it was. But, I also thought that there was so much more that I could have written. Ultimately, the post remained as it was, with a few of my thoughts, unwritten.
The post was probably all the better, for doing so. 🙂

At the time, I had a vague sense of, God can speak, what He wants to, to each individual person, as He wants to, with what is here.

Then, a little while later, I get the thought, “Less of me, more of Him”, and then I’m smiling all that much more. 🙂

By having less of me, I’m leaving more room for more of Him.

What would you rather have, pages of my thoughts, that could then just become white noise, or a few words from me, that leads to many thoughts, from Our Lord God! ???

As I’ve written before, My words don’t matter, but His do!

It was also one of the main themes of the first post on this site.
That post was, The Christian Doorman.

So, if by leaving some of my thoughts out, I’m leaving more room for Our Lord God, to speak to you, then surely, that’s got to be a good to thing! … ???

It is Our Lord God’s thoughts, that we should all be pressing in to hear, all that much more, than anything else.

Our Lord God, is able to speak to us all, in or through whatever way He chooses to.
One last question for this post to end on.
Are we wanting, trying to hear, His words to us?

Our Lord God Almighty,
Please help us all to hear You, and Your leading, that much more clearly.
And then be willing to follow You, and Your ways.
Amen.

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Who Are You Trying to Impress?

There were two cleaners. One was well liked, while one was looked down upon.
The one who was well liked, laughed and joked, with the people that they served, as they did what they needed to.
The one who was looked down upon, was quiet, as they diligently, carried out their cleaning duties, often getting in the way, of those that they served.

From a cleaning point of view, the looked down upon cleaner, did a better job.
The reason, that they got in the way, was because they ensured that they did a good job. Those who used the facilities of the looked down upon cleaner, were well protected from germs, and the unseen dangers.
Many would accuse the cleaner of over cleaning, but this was never the case, they were just doing a very good job.

This was not the case with the well liked cleaner.
They would do the bare minimum, to make things look as if they were clean, even stepping aside, allowing their customers to use facilities that were not as clean as they should be, while they laughed and joked with them. All the while, knowing, that their customers, were using facilities, that was not as clean, as they should be.

How do we conduct ourselves, when it comes to our duties, that we should be working at?
Do we just do, just what is needed, to give the appearance of a job well done?
Or will we actually do, what we know needs to be done, even if it makes us unpopular?

Our Lord God, sees All that is done, and the motivation that is behind our actions!

Who are we trying to Impress with our actions?
People, or Our Lord God?

Colossians 3:22-25
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

1 Peter 1:14-16
14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

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In The Right Location, But Out of Step.

This thought, came from a strange dream, that I had.

In the dream, me and my wife, were at a new location to us. We were both interested in what was going on around us. Unfortunately, we didn’t remain in step with each other, as such, a certain distance just slowly came between us. At one point, my wife started to walk were the ground was unstable. My concern for my wife was very real, as I tried to get back to her. (Part of my wife’s disability is being unsteady on her feet.) But I was too late, as she fell over, and hit the floor hard. Then I woke up.

I was not as troubled, as I think that I should have been, by such a strange dream. But it’s not the way that I would like to have woken up. I was troubled slightly, but also had a strange peace, of some sort, around me.

When I’ve had weird dreams like this before, I’ve placed them before my Lord God.

So I asked, something like, “Lord, if this is from the enemy, and not of you, then let me quickly forget it. If there is something from You in this, then please explain or reveal it to me?”

In a round about way, the thought, “You can be in the right location, but out of step”, then came to me.

If me and my wife, remain in step with each other, then we can both support each other. I can provide an extra support, if it is needed, as she can lean into me. There are also times when, she can boost my confidence, by just being with me. There is a strength in being in step, with each other.

How much more strength can we call upon, if we remain in step, with Our Lord God?

John 15:1-17

15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

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We Are Blessed!!

If we are going through a bit of a tough time, then are we still able to say, “We Are Blessed!” ???

Last week, I wrote about how I needed to rebuke myself, so that I would choose to not be so grumpy. This week, I’m writing about part of the way, that me and my wife, tried to remain on the side of being thankful.

Short version, we had to, literally, keep saying to each other, “We are blessed.”

The short version of our fun and games we had, was car troubles. A hire car had been provided to us, as ours was broken. It was not as nice a car, as our one is, and, the car had a bit of a smell to it. It smelt of cleaning solution, with a rich tone of stale smoke. (It appears that a previous user had been smoking in the car, ignoring the no smoking sign.)

Neither me or my wife, particularly liked the car. (We could have tried to change the car, but it had been such a battle to get the car, that I just didn’t have it in me, to try to change it. 😦 )

Many times, as we went to use the car, we would look at each other, and one, or both of us, would say, “We are Blessed.” Sometimes, with a bit of a wry smile.

We both knew, that neither of really didn’t like the car, but we were both trying, to make the choice, to be thankful for it.

It would have been all to easy to moan and groan about the situation, to each other, and anyone else who would listen, but we were trying to steer clear of that.

If we had gone down the route of moaning about the situation, then how much more upset, would we have been inviting into our lives? The path we were travelling along would have been the same, but how different would the experience be?

Wry smiles, with a hint of laughter, or moans and groans, feeding our resentment?

We kept trying to choose the “We are Blessed” route, and I believe that our experience was all the better, for doing so. It wasn’t a walk in the park, as we were upset and annoyed by what was going on, but we were trying to not add, to the upset, that we were feeling. Instead, we were trying to recognise a truth, that was actually there, all along, that we are blessed.

We were trying to focus on the truth, that our needs were being met, through the car, that we didn’t particularly like, even though our personal comfort, was not being met. Hence, we kept on declaring to each other, “We are Blessed.” (Which very much so was/is a Truth.)

If we are going through a testing time, then are we able to see a truth, that we can be thankful for, so that we can then declare…

We Are Blessed!!!

______________________

Jeremiah 17:7-8

7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

______________________

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.