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How do you cope when, the wheels fall off?

I had hoped that my ugly rock posts, had finished last week. But it appears that I have at least one more.

This week’s post follows on from last week’s post of, When the Wheels Fell Off.

Those of you who read last week’s post will know that I was in a situation where I could only see two options, neither of which, I liked. The simple way of looking at those options was, endure the hardship, or run away from it.
There was actually a third option, but I never saw it.
The third option could be called, highlight the problem in such a way, so that a release can be found.

How do we tap into option three, when we don’t even know, that it is an option?

The short answer to this question, has to be, “Hear what your Heavenly Father is speaking to you, about the way you should go.”

Unfortunately, this is not an easy thing to do, when you are in a stressful situation. Because the stress, can just seem to take over.
It can sometimes feel like, “You have TWO Options, THIS or THAT!
CHOOSE ONE!”

Even the thought that there is a third option, can seem like an impossibility. So how can we see the very thing, that we don’t even know about?

Psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

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It’s great to read a passage, like the above (and it is a truth for those who seek The Lord God Almighty.) But how do we tap into the help, when we need it most?

I now know that I should have called for an ambulance when my wife was on a hospital ward, not getting the care that she should have. (My third option, that I didn’t see.) But just how do we see, the something else, that we could do?

Could we possibly try to seek help from outside the situation?
To hear or see the extra option, that is just outside of our grasp?

Sometimes, these things can happen so easily, that it just amazes us.
I was recently trying to make a purchase, dealing with a salesman. The deal had been made when a different person came over (without introducing himself), whilst the salesman was away, and told me that there was a problem.
As such there were two options, of this or that. I didn’t like either option, and was feeling pressured to make a choice between the two options.
Then out of my mouth came the words, “Could we have a moment to think about this, and then we can discuss this with the salesman.”
The person in front of me, agreed to this, and then walked away.
The issue was then dealt with in a better way, with the salesman (who was much friendlier).

It was one of those instances of seeing the extra option, without even really looking for it. I know it’s a bit of a small silly thing, but a tense situation was avoided, by just speaking out, something different, that just came to my mind.

Seeing the extra option, can make a big difference, if we are able to see, or hear it.

I would love to finish this post by giving you a list of helpful advice that would speak directly to you and your personal situation, but I can’t. I’m only a man after all.
But I can point you to One who is Greater than all of us, who DOES have the answers. Who does know your personal circumstances.
Our Lord God is Mighty and is able to help all. It will be so good for us, if we can seek Him and His wisdom for where we should go. He is the one who can point us to the option, that we weren’t even looking for.

If you are directed to, then please consider re-reading Psalm 121. (There is a copy of it, just above in this post.)

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When the wheels fell off.

Even as I’m posting this, I’m still thinking, “Are you sure??”
Posting this, in some ways, feels like lighting a stick of dynamite.
Lord, into Your hands I commit this post.

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My last post ended with, “Will I share my ugly rock?” I still don’t know the answer to that one, at the present moment. I’m still in the, take the next step phase of things, so with that in mind, I’ll just keep trying to write it out. Just as if I’m having a conversation with myself. (Leaving the question of to publish or not, to another day.)

I’m coming to the understanding that my wife’s care, in the early days, was medically negligent.
It’s not nice to think that mistakes were made, but I feel that they were. The full measure of those mistakes, I may not ever even know. A conversation with a family member, just opened my eyes to a few things that I was unaware of, or just forgotten. But I do know that one night, it felt as if I was caught in a Medical Mexican Stand Off, with the hospital staff.

I have previously written about our bad time, but I had mis-written one night in particular.
In the previous post of Something of our Testimony Part 1, I had written about a bad night, and stated that my wife received treatment before I went home. The truth of that night is very different to that fantasy. What follows next is the truthful account of what happened, that night.

My wife was having seizures, and the nurses were following the doctor’s last instruction on how to deal with them. It was, “Let’s just ride this out and let it run its course, it’s only a small one, and let’s not use medication, if it’s not needed.”

That sounds like a good thing to do, if they are small and infrequent, as they were, when that course of action was decided to be taken.

But what about when things change?
When they change slowly, so that the changes, are not so obvious to see?
How long do you keep following that same thinking?

In the nurses case, the answer was all the way to the end of their shift, and then the next nurses, take over, with a hand over of, “This is what has happened.” Then possibly, “We are following the advice of the doctor, which is…. . The relatives have been a bit of trouble, we’ve just stayed out of their way.”

I don’t actually know what was said in the hand over, but the new nurses, didn’t speak too much to us. Even though it was getting late into the night, and visiting time was long gone. And we (at some point in time, my Mum had joined us) were still there, waiting for something to happen, to help my wife. Who by this time, was now having frequent seizures, of a greater magnitude, which the nurses appeared to be not concerned about. (At this point my wife was not on a neurological ward.)

We had asked, insisted, that a doctor be involved and was in a constant state of, “Something has to change soon.” But nothing appeared to be happening.
I can remember seeing someone who looked as if they were a junior doctor, speaking with the nurses, (I can’t remember if it was the new or old shift nurses, but I think it was the new shift nurses) and then they were gone.
Still no change in the treatment (or lack of treatment.)

We had both reached the point of desperation.
I had gone through outright aggression, almost having a full blown row with one of the the original shift nurses. Only averted because I walked out, to get some breathing space. When I came back, it appeared that the nurse was ready and waiting for round two. I believe that I just didn’t engage in round two, but just tried to concentrate on my wife.

Is this part of the reason of, why the staff didn’t engage with me that much?
Is it part of the reason of why we were never asked to leave?
It was well into the sleeping hours of the night, before we left.

The fact that it was into the sleeping hours of the night, also meant that I didn’t want to make a fuss, and then disturb the other patients on the ward, whilst still wanting and waiting for my wife to be seen, and cared for.

With hindsight, I know that I should have called for an ambulance.
There wasn’t an A & E department at the hospital my wife was staying at, so I couldn’t just wheel her down to the A & E department. But I am sure that I should have called for an ambulance, or at least made the threat to do so, and if needed, to then just do it.
But I didn’t, and we are where we are.
Would it have made a difference, if I had called for that ambulance???
I just don’t know.

In the end, out of sheer desperation, me and my Mum just left.
We were thinking, “If we are not here, creating a screen that the nurses can’t see through, then perhaps they will see her, and then give her the care that she needs???”
I now firmly believe that this was a mistake, and that we should have called for an ambulance, but at the time, we could only see the two options. Remain, waiting and hoping that something will happen, while wondering, are we part of the problem, by being a screen that is stopping the nurses from seeing what is going on.
Or just go, and hope that they then actually see my wife, and then do something to help her.

As I have said, looking back it feels as if it was a Medical Mexican Stand Off. A stalemate, nowhere to go, with no good options.
Option 3, of call the ambulance, was just not in our minds.

Why would it be?
My wife was in a hospital, under medical care of people who should have known what they were doing. Who would think that calling for an ambulance, whilst someone is on a hospital ward, would even be an option.
It shouldn’t be an option.
You should be receiving the care, that you need, if you are on a hospital ward. Not just left to get on with it.
If she had been at home, we would have called for an ambulance, and then been taken to the A & E department, and then been cared for. But instead, she was on a ward, by and large, being ignored.

Did our life changing consequences occur because of that night?
Or had they already happened?
Or were they even just waiting to happen?
… I just don’t know the answers to these questions.

What I do know, is that as I left that night, I didn’t know if my wife would be with me, or not, the following morning?
I didn’t know if she would survive the night?
In some respects, I said goodbye to her, as I left.
Not knowing if we were doing the right thing or the wrong thing. But also not knowing what else to do?
Both me and my Mum where at our wits end, just hoping that they they would now just see her, and give my wife the care that she needed.

Did she receive any help or care, after we left, or was she just left to, “ride it out”, all night long … ???
Again, I just don’t have the answer to this question.

The next time I heard about my wife, was from my wife’s Mum. She had called the hospital, and had been told, “She is sleeping peacefully.” (My wife’s parents were a two hour journey away.)
Was she actually sleeping peacefully, or was she slowly edging closer to disaster day, when she was just a step away from just going, unseen by the staff, because they thought that she was just, “sleeping peacefully”?

I was completely wiped out by this point. A walking zombie.
Along with everything written above, we were still coming to grips with a miscarriage, which was the very start of the misadventure. With everything that was going on, the miscarriage was now low down on my list of concerns.

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It’s been a few days since I wrote the above.
After I wrote it, I was thinking, “What good can come from this?” I’m still partly wondering that.
But as time is going by, I’m starting to find that it’s not quite so raw, anymore. In some ways, this feels a little bit weird. I know what happened, and I am kind of aware that I should be outraged by all that had gone on, but a strange, dare I say it, sense of peace seems to be taking the place of the hurt. … ???
I would like to say that I’ve got a complete sense of peace, but that would be a lie. But I’m not as agitated as I think I should be?
Am I heading towards that greater sense of peace???

Is this journey towards peace because of three little words that I have been trying to apply into lots of situations?
Am I now able to apply them to my ugly rock, and then see a difference happen?

I would like to say that it had been easy, but it hasn’t been.
I would like to say that it all done in one sitting, but it wasn’t. Some moments were maybe 30 seconds of thinking something, then accepting it. Another moment could have been letting go of something by forgiving ones who came to my mind, myself included.
I’m struggling to think if I have repented of anything, but it may have been in there???

The three little words that I’m thinking of are, Accept, Repent and Forgive, There be Power Here!
It seems to be more evident to me that applying three little words, can lead to a release and a freedom from pain.

I would like to think that I am fully cured from the effects of what has happened to me and my wife, but I do think that could be a bit of wishful thinking. We are still currently living with the consequences of what has happened, although we are waiting for my wife to be completely healed. But I do believe that a large chunk of the pain and hurt has gone. Hopefully, that will continue as time goes on.

To publish or not?
I’m now leaning towards publishing. (If you are reading this, then the answer is evident.)
I will still seek guidance from my Lord God Almighty for the answer to that one. He does have the Power of Veto over me, after all.
I do have the small comforting thought that most of what I write, only gets seen by a very small number of people. So it will more than likely, only be a small something, seen by a few. 🙂

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This post was the latest from a series of posts.
For reference, the previous posts are listed below.

Will you work with Our Lord, to shape, your Ugly Rock?

It seems that I have my own Ugly Rock.

Will I share, What my Ugly Rock is?

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I thought that this post was going to be the end of the mini series, but there was one more.
The last post in this series is…
How do you cope when, the wheels fall off??

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Will I share, What my Ugly Rock is?

This post follows on from the previous post of, It seems that I have my own Ugly Rock.

The short version of what is my ugly rock, is, … It’s a bad decision I made, a long time ago.
It’s something that I walked away from, partly thinking, “If I’m not here, then what is happening will be that much clearer, and then something will happen. Perhaps my being here is part of the problem ?”
With hindsight, I know that, that was bad thinking, and that I should have stayed, and carried on fighting for someone who was unable to fight for themselves.

The consequences of walking away that night….

I don’t know! I just don’t.
After I left, did what needed to happen, happen, or did nothing happen, which then lead to further complications later, which has then led me and my wife to, where we are today?
As I have said, “I just don’t know.”

I’ve had the scene from Good Will Hunting run through my mind, when Robin Williams (the actor) has Will’s history file in his hands, and is talking to Will. He states, “This is not your fault.” To which Will replies, “I know it’s not.” (Or there about.) The conversation repeats itself several times, until Will, truly starts to accept that, it’s not his fault.

The thought of. “It’s not my fault” helps.
I’d like to say that the thought is a magic wand, that removes all the pain, but it’s not. It does help, and I need to listen to the thought, even if I’m not convinced that it’s true. Listening to the thought seems to be part of accepting what has happened.

On some level, I do know, that it isn’t my fault, but doubts can have a way of trying to worm their way in. There is a need to be aware of this, then to send them away, when they try to make an appearance.
I have a need to seek, then Hear, what my Heavenly Father is speaking to me about the situation, and the thought, “It’s not your fault” is in the room.

The title of this post was going to be, “What is my Ugly Rock?” But so far, I feel that I have only given the slightest glimpse of what it is.
To properly answer that question, feels like I’ve got a box of matches, and that there is a stick of dynamite, in the ugly rock, that I need to light. I also have no idea of how powerful the stick of dynamite is!

Will it just blow away the shame and guilt that is present, or will it shatter the ugly rock into a thousand pieces, that’s just going to make a bigger mess?
I have been speaking to a few trusted people, and I’m coming round to the idea that it will be just blowing away the shame and guilt, but I can’t know that, until the fuse is lit.

In the picture, the matches were found amongst the smaller stones and rubble, as I made the choice to clear the smaller stones, as I was directed to.
The thought kind of goes, sometimes you can find the tools that you need, as you do the small bits that you can do, as you are directed to do so.

There is another thought that goes with lighting of the dynamite.
It’s to follow God’s direction of where to stand, after lighting the dynamite. If you are going to light a stick of dynamite, then it’s good to be behind a blast screen. If The Lord tells you “Stand here”, and The Lord places Himself between you and the rock, with the dynamite in it, then that is a good place to be.
Allow God to be your blast screen.

Will I actually light that fuse though?
Will I tell my secret to all or just a trusted few?
At the moment, I still don’t know the answer to that one. I’m still in the process of taking the next step.
At times I’m like, “Let’s just put it all out there!” Then I try to write a post to do just that, but end up just putting a few glimpses together, in a post, that then needs the title to be renamed. 🙂

So, what’s the next step now???
Will the stick of dynamite be such a small blast, that everyone will think, “What was all the fuss about?”
Will it be so small, that it will go by, completely unseen, except by the few who just happen to be looking in the right direction as it goes off?
Will it even go off? Could it be that something that is so huge in my mind, is actually a nothing, in everybody else’s view?
Or could it be, that the blast could be bigger than I can see?
Could the blast and the shrapnel travel further and faster than I would ever want it to and leave me thinking “What have I done?”
Am I ready for what comes next?
It feels as if it could be something, but it also feels that it could be nothing.

Lord, please continue to direct my steps.
Please help to know when, or even if, I should light this stick of dynamite.
If I do light it, then help me to know where to stand, in safety, under Your protection.

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The next post in this series is already written.
I’m still seeking a yes or no to post it, or not?
I’m inclined to post it, but my Heavenly father does have the power of veto over me.

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The answer of to post, or not, was a “Yes”
The next post is,
When the wheels fell off.

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It seems that I have my own Ugly Rock.

Sometimes, I write something, and then I have to do, or go through the very thing, that I’ve just written about. Recently I wrote, Will you work with Our Lord, to shape your Ugly Rock? To then, … well, This week’s post was the start of me working through something.

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Recently something has come back to my mind. Something that happened a long while back, that I had just buried. I’ve been trying to re-bury it, but now that it has resurfaced, it won’t go back down.
I’m now left with replays, and all the “what if” questions.

The “what if” questions do me no good!
I know this, I’ve even written a previous post about this of,
Cut away the Veil of What If’s.
I know that I need to focus on “what is”, instead of “what if”. But knowing this and doing this are two very different things.

I’ve had the nagging thought of, “just write it out”, but I don’t want to. I’d rather just bury it again, and not look at it, but I can’t seem to do that.
So here is my first look at writing it out.

I write it, with the full knowledge that, because it’s written, it doesn’t mean that it has to be published. Some things can be written out, and then never shared. It is OK to do this!
If I do change my mind at a latter date, then that is a decision for a tomorrow. For today, I will just take the next step and just write what I write.

The Lords prayer does say, “Give us Today, our Daily Bread.”
So I shall, just try to do today, that which I need to do today, and let tomorrow deal with itself, when it comes around.

(Verse 34 is the bit that came to my mind, but a quick search found the whole passage below.)

Matthew 6:25-34
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

You maybe asking, “What is this rock that you have then?”

That is something for me to try and write out tomorrow (possibly), which might or might not be published.
One step at a time, is the way to try and work through this.
I’ll just keep trying to take it to My Lord, and ask, “What do I do with THIS?”

If you have your own ugly rock, then I can only suggest that you try to do the same. Take it to The Lord Your God, and ask Him, “Help me with this Lord.”

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(Just a heads up, next weeks post is already written, and will follow on from here. I have worked through most of the process by now.)
The next post is,
Will I share, What my Ugly Rock is?

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Something and Nothing,

Have you ever dealt with something that could also be a nothing?

If I’m dealing with a something, that I think is a nothing, then it can be a struggle to apply myself. Well it’s only a nothing after all. 🙂
That can all change, if I suddenly realise that it’s actually a something. Applying myself to the something can then become that much easier, and sometimes more urgent.

Working on something that everybody else sees as a nothing can be all the more frustrating. It can leave me thinking, “You’re just not getting this!”

How does Our Heavenly Father feel, if He asks us to have a look at something, that we just feel, is a nothing, and then treat it as such?
Could we try to see the nothing (in our eyes), as the something, that Our Lord God does?

On the flip side of this, I can equally think that a nothing, is a something, when it really is a nothing. Oh what a tangled web, we can weave for ourselves, at times. 🙂

But if I treat a nothing, as if it is a something, then how much time, effort and energy can I then waste on a nothing?
It’s better to realise a nothing, as a nothing, that much sooner.

I’m hoping that this post isn’t just a nothing, but that there is something to it…??? … somewhere???
Is anyone even still reading this??? 🙂

Lord God,
Please help us to know what is of value and what is not.
Help us to follow Your prompting for what we should pick up and what we should put down.
Our Lord God Almighty.
Amen.

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Will you work with Our Lord, to shape, your Ugly Rock?

This is part of a picture, that has been forming over the weekend.

I saw a rock, in the middle of a scene. It was an ugly rock with many sharp edges. The rock was not wanted, and the owner would like for the rock to be just removed.

Sometimes, The Lord, will remove the ugly rocks in our lives. But at other times, He has a different route.

Sometimes, The Lord will say, …
“This ugly rock, that you feel is worthless and full of shame and anguish. Well, let’s just work on it together.
There is a work that needs to be done, for it is an ugly rock, but there is a value in this ugly rock, that is currently unseen. Work with me on this, and together we will chip away at those rough edges.
We may have big chunks that need to be removed, but I will direct you as to what should go and what should stay. When all that needs to be removed has gone, we will then polish what is left, so that what is left will be utterly different. Instead of a rock that you want to run and hide from because of shame and worry, you will have a beautiful sculpture, that you will want to show off to all, saying, Look at what The Lord has done for me! He has turned my shame to dancing. He took my ugly rock, and just see what He has done with it.”

You may think that this is impossible, that this doesn’t apply to you, because, how could it, for you don’t see what my ugly rock is. But The Lord says, just read about Joseph in Genesis chapters 37-50.

Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, his own family.
Then after he was promoted to the head position of his new masters household, he was falsely accused of a crime, he never did, and was then thrown into jail.
All seemed bleak, but God was just getting started.
Joseph was elevated to number 2 in all of Egypt.
Joseph actions, saved many people, including his family.
Yes, even his brothers who sold him into slavery, were saved, because of what happened to Joseph.

In the end, Joseph was able to say to his brothers …

Genesis 50:19-21
19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

God is in the business of turning shame into joy!
Of turning mourning into dancing!
And Our God is Able to do All Things. Things that we think are impossible, He has a way, to turn it all around, for good.

So, will we work with Our Lord God, as He directs us?
Will we follow His path for us, so that He can then change our mourning, to dancing?

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After writing this, I then had my own Ugly Rock to deal with.
This then led to a mini seris of posts.
The next post in this series is…
It seems that I have my own Ugly Rock.

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Accept, Repent and Forgive, There is Power Here!

I see a vessel

How do you pray, when you feel you just can’t do anything?

Further posts, about struggles.

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Who wants to answer the Call to Holiness?

Joshua 3:5
5 Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”

Leviticus 20:7-8
7 “‘Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the Lord your God. 8 Keep my decrees and follow them. I am the Lord, who makes you holy.

There is a clear call to be Holy. Joshua tells the people to consecrete themselves, just before they are about to enter the promised land. And we can also see a call to be holy, in Leviticus 20:7-8. There are many other references, with a similar call.

But do we find the call to be holy, a bit tiresome, at times?
It is a call that appears to go on endlessly, until we reach our final destination. It’s a call of continuous improvement. One of the technical words for this is “Sanctification”.

If we are honest with ourselves, in our moments of weakness, can we all suffer with feeling a bit tired of this process?

Galatians 6:7-9
7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

From the above verses, we can see a warning to not become weary in doing good. Could this in part be because God knows that we can get tired, whilst trying to do, what we should be doing?

From reading the above verse, another question has come to my mind (in a roundabout way). Whose strength are you relying on for doing the good that you are trying to do?

Human strength (the flesh), or a greater strength (the spirit)?

If we are becoming weary, then is it because we are running out of our own strength?
Are we able to call on a source of strength that has no limits?
Our Lord God’s strength?
Will we seek Him and His strength, so that we can then go beyond our own limits?

Our Lord God, is the source of all good things!
He has unlimited strength, to help those who will look to Him, for their help.

Psalm 121:1-3
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber

It is indeed good to follow a call to holiness, if it is from Our Lord God. But, I do think that a word of warning also needs to be spoken (or written) here.
What if the call is not coming from a Our Lord God, but a different source? An enemy, even?

1 Peter 5:8
8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Could the enemy try to bring a call to holiness, that is too much for us, with the intention of causing us to crumble under the pressure?

The source of a call matters. Is the call we are hearing, a word of rebuke or a word of condemnation?
A word of condemnation has the purpose to pull down and destroy. But a word of rebuke, if followed, leads to holiness.
If a word of condemnation comes our way, then do we need to dismiss it? Or could we even turn it around, so that it is used as a word of rebuke?
That which the enemy brought for bad, can be turned to good. (If Our Lord God says to consider it.)

Will we hear Our Lord God’s call to Holiness, and will we then follow it?

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Are you Willing to Take the Next Step?

This is a thought that keeps coming back to me, time and time again.

There are times when it is easy to take the next step, but then there are times when it’s not so easy.

The times when it’s not so easy can be when I would like to know what the next 3 or 4 … or even 10 steps are going to be, but all I have in front of me is the next step.
The next step that leads to ?????

I may well have an idea, or direction of where the next step will take me, so I’m not necessarily talking about taking a blind step (although sometimes we might even have to do just that). But I’m mostly talking about taking the next step, even though we haven’t worked it all out.

Sometimes things can just go a certain way. Things can just pop up in front of you on your path that could lead you in a particular way, if you are open to following them.
I’m not talking about following the wrong path. There can be many wrong paths along our way that we know we should avoid, no matter how tempting they may be.
But I’m talking about the paths that we have an inkling that could be good or fun to travel down, if we are just willing to just take the next step?

Sometimes the choice can be as simple as, take the next step….. or go nowhere. Just stand still and remain exactly where you are.

Staying still can sometimes be the right choice, but other times it can just simply be me refusing to move, anywhere.

Now if it is in fact The Lord my God who is asking me to take the next step (and I know that it its Him who is doing the prompting), then will I be willing to follow His leading?
It can be easy to answer yes to that question when there is no next step in front of you. But can we say yes to Him with our actions?
By doing what He is asking us to do?

John 10:27-28
27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.

Matthew 21:28-31
The Parable of the Two Sons

28 “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’

29 “‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

30 “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.

31 “Which of the two did what his father wanted?”

“The first,” they answered.

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Where/When was/is Jesus during the 3 Days?

OK, the title of this one is a bit …. or a lot confusing.

If the title is making your head hurt, then this might be one to skip and hopefully, normal service will be back, for next week. 🙂

The 3 days I’m talking about are the 3 days between Jesus dying on the cross and then being raised back to life again.

I’m going to share some thoughts that I have had about the 3 days. If you do read it, then please understand that it amounts to just a theory, (along with some bits we do know) that you then need to decide if there is anything to it.

Where to start???
The price Jesus paid on the cross.
When Jesus died on the cross, He did pay the whole price of that which separates us from God. (This bit is fact.)
But in my mind, the price for sinning is eternal separation from God.

Romans 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So how can a price of eternal separation be paid in full in just 3 days?

If someone owed you a million pounds, and they tried to settle the debt with a single pound… Would you feel that the debt had been paid in full?
Well, I can’t help but think that I would have been short changed, by quite a large measure, if someone where to try such a thing with me.
Are you able to see my concern/thought?

I know that 2 Peter 3:8 states,
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

Now if I’m going to be a bit simple, I can apply the above to the 3 days…. and then come up with 3 thousand years of separation paid???
But even that seems like being short changed on eternity?
So was a greater price paid?? ….
Is a greater price still being paid? (Theory).
Whilst it has already been paid! (Fact)

Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.

1 Peter 2:24
“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

Are you still with me??
Can I try to explain what I mean by, “Being still paid, whilst it has already been paid?” ???

Eternity is all time, as such, now is a part of eternity.
So is an eternal separation from God the Father still being paid now?
All at the same time that it has been paid.

We know that the price has been paid, for Jesus also tells us so.

John 19:28-30
The Death of Jesus

28 Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. 30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

So am I losing the plot by asking “Is the price still being paid?” ???

For us mere humans, time is linear. We have a start in time, and we have an end in time. We start a new day, and 24 hours later we know that, another day has gone by. We travel through time at a constant rate, moment by moment. We can’t travel through time any faster than the rate we do. We can’t go into the future or into the past. We only have the now to live in.

Is God constrained by time in the same way that we are?
I do think that the simple answer to that question is “no”.

Revelation 1:8 “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”

The above verse is among many that shows us that time is different for God. We can only know the “is” (the here and now) but God can know the “was” and “is to come” as well as the “is”, all at the same time.
Time is different for God. Quite how that actually works out for God ….. ???
I just have more questions than answers, but I think it is suffice to say that time is different for God. (A previous post of, Is our God the God of Instantaneous Eternity? looks into these thoughts a bit more.)

I thought that I had a theory before I started writing this. Now I’m thinking that I’m just clutching at straws. 🙂

So what is this theory I have/had?
It’s below, for any who are still reading this.

When Jesus died, did He travel back to the start of time? (If you are going to make a payment of all eternity, then wouldn’t you need to make a start at the beginning?)
Did He then spend (is still spending) an eternity separated from God the Father?
Did He then travel back to the time on the cross where He stated, “It is finished”, or to 3 days later when He was resurrected and appeared to many people?
After this we know that He ascended to heaven and is now seated in Glory, with the Father.

If we do consider the when was Jesus, during the 3 days, then could we observe Jesus in three different places, from our point of view?
Could Jesus be on the outward journey, still paying the price?
Could Jesus be on the return journey back to the cross, having paid the price?
As well as knowing that, Jesus is seated in glory, with Our Heavenly Father.

I didn’t put a question mark after that last statement, as that one is known to be true.
But could the other two also be true, all at the same time?
For us mere human beings, we can only know the here and now. But do the rules of time that we experience, apply to God?

As I have already stated, this is mostly just a theory, with some bits that we do know. But if there is any truth to the theory, then it does put a different perspective to the three days, and just how long it actually was (is) from Jesus’s position.

If Jesus is still paying for the wrongs that I have done, or more to the point, that I am doing in the here and now, then could that change my view on just how much it matters of what I do, in the here and now?
If my doing wrong causes, yet another hot coal to be handed to Jesus, in the here and now, for Him to pay the price for, then could my not doing wrong, mean that He then has less hot coals to deal with???
Could this thought spur me on to try all the more to follow the path that I am being shown that much more closely, so that less hot coals are handed over to be dealt with from me? (Yes, is the answer to that one.)

When I first had these thoughts, I was a bit (a lot) overwhelmed by them. Until I was also reminded that, whilst the price could be, being paid, the price has actually been paid.
This means that what I am doing wrong, and will do wrong, has also already been paid for, by Jesus, by what He has done. (Or is still doing???)

Jesus does accept me, even with all that I have done wrong, and will do wrong.
It puts a new perspective on Jesus’s words, when He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

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I’m Waiting for my Wife to be Fully Healed.

My wife is disabled. She is a stroke survivor. I’m not stating this, in order to get any type of sympathy. (Don’t take this the wrong way, but please keep it to yourself. 🙂 ) I’m saying this because, that is just the way it is. If you would like to read the long story of how this came to be, then you can read about it here.

Both me and my wife, are still waiting for her to be completely healed. At this point, we have been waiting for over 23 years. The wait is a bit longer than we would like it to be, but we do still make the choice to praise and thank our Lord God, for His help and guidance to us in the here and now. Sometimes, this is not an easy choice to make.

My wife has told me, and several other people, that while she was in the hospital, she had a vision of Jesus, telling her that He would completely heal her. Our pastor and his wife, at the time that it happened, also prayed for my wife, whilst she was in the hospital. It was at one of the darker moments. But the prayer was said in such a way, that I half looked towards my wife, and thought, “Are you going to get up then?”

I’m sorry to say, that I did let out a small laugh when she didn’t get up. It was just such a bizarre situation. My wife was lying in the hospital bed, unresponsive, on a knife edge, of where she was going to be next, then my pastor and his wife were declaring, “Get up! Be healed, in the name of Jesus.” As I said, it was delivered with a something extra to it, so much so, that I did look for her to just sit up and expect (or want to see), her just walk out of the hospital there and then. But it didn’t happen, and (unfortunately) I gave out a small laugh.

I have heard that my pastor and his wife, fully expected my wife to be healed in that moment, and that it shook them, when it didn’t happen, at that point in time.

I’m still waiting for that prayer, and the vision that my wife had, to be fully realised.

The sceptic in me, would say, “Read the small print. It will happen when you and your wife get to heaven and we stand before Our Lord God.”

We do hope that the sceptic in me is wrong, and that it will happen sooner than that. But even if the sceptic is right, both me and my wife will continue to praise and thank Our Lord God for all the good that we do have, in the here and now.

Most of the time, we are both just getting on with life in the here and now. But every now and then we do ask again, “Lord, can we see the full healing of my wife, in the here and now?” It can be tough to even ask this, as an apparent answer of, “Not just yet.” still hurts. So for the most part, we just get on with our lives, quietly hoping, that today will be the day, that it will happen.

Just because things are not working out the way that we would like them to is not a reason to stop looking to Our Lord God Almighty! He is our Hope and Strength, in the here and now. We will try to continue to follow the example of Habakkuk, when he says, “yet I will rejoice in the Lord”.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.