How can we help those who don’t want help?

In my last post I effectively wrote about how we can try to help, but instead just shake things up a bit.
In this weeks post I will try to offer a picture/advice about how to help someone who is in need but doesn’t know how to, or doesn’t want to ask for help.
I have been in this position, so hopefully I can share something that might help somebody.

I think that a good place to start is a picture.
The thought that came to me was one of those videos that can be seen online, where an animal has caught itself in something and can’t get free.
Then the brave hero comes to set it free.

The animal I’m thinking of is a deer with it’s antlers caught in a fence made of a netting material.
The deer is wanting to break free, but it is helplessly caught in the fence and is becoming very distressed.

When the hero approaches the deer, he does so slowly and calmly.
The deer may well not understand a word the hero says, but he can still use his voice in a calm way in order to try to put the deer at ease, as much as he can.

There is so much to be said about this first bit alone.

Some of my thoughts are, the hero needs to have a calm way about them.
If they are frustrated, then they could very easily bring that frustration into a already tense situation, and then just add fuel to the fire.
If we have frustrations with us, then endeavour to leave those frustrations outside of our helping the deer.
If we can’t do that, then leave the task for someone who can.

As you approach the deer, how you act communicates to the deer how calm you are.
If you approach in a brash manner, then you are only going to scare it that much more. It’s the same with people.
Sometimes humour can be used to lighten the situation but sometimes it can be adding fuel to a fire. Use wisdom (Fathers wisdom is best) if you use humour.

The calmness that is shown to the deer needs to be genuine.
If you are tense or there is a falseness in your calm then it is likely to be passed onto the deer.
I have seen a program where dogs are behaving badly. Sometimes the reason for this is because the owner is tense and the dog picks up on this and then acts badly.
The same principle could occur when coming close to someone who is hurting, so do try to have a peace that is genuine.
A peace from God, would be good to have.

If you dwell on this first part with Father, then He could possibly speak the thing you need to know, for where you are, better than anything I can type here.

As the Hero gets closer to the deer, he then tries to make a connection with the deer.
He just tries to pat the deer and reassure it, that he means no harm.
He doesn’t just try to cut the netting free.
Making a connection with people is so important.
A friend is more likely to be listened to rather than a stranger who just waltzes in and tries to do what is needed.
The stranger who just waltzes in is only likely to be hurt with one of those antlers and do no good in the process of trying to help.

As the hero gets closer to the head, he looks closely at what the situation is before making any cuts to the netting. He is not in a rush to cut the netting away.
Try to use all your senses to appraise what is going on.
Ears that are open to Father’s words and prompts are going to be your best asset.

Sometimes a second person comes along to help the hero.

You don’t have to do it all on your own!
Ask others for help and support if you need it.

Not everyone needs to be in the trenches with you though.
One or a few people in the thick of things could help. But beware, too many cooks could spoil the brew.

Many people could pray for you, the deer, the situation or wherever Father leads you/them to pray, but not everyone needs to know everything.
Use wisdom with what is shared.
Don’t feel that everyone needs to know everything just so that they can pray better. Father knows it all already.
Nobody likes the thought that they are the talk of the town.
If you think prayer is needed (which it probably is) then ask what can be shared, if it is appropriate to do so.

At some point the deer is wrestled to the ground and subdued in order to set it free.
No, I’m not going to suggest you wrestle the hurt/needy one to the ground.
However, at some point you might need to say or do something that is uncomfortable.
Use wisdom (Fathers wisdom, again, is best).
Try to ensure that love is at the core of your actions and not frustration.
Sometimes, things do just need to be said or done.
Expect to feel some resistance when doing this and try to not take offence from the others reactions.

When the deer is finally set free it just runs off into the distance.
Sometimes, when you have helped someone, they might just walk or run away.

Do your best to not take offense at this.
Instead be happy and joyful that you have helped someone in need.
Father sees your actions and if you have helped someone, then He will be pleased with you.
Father being pleased with us should be enough.

Hopefully the one you help will be able to say thank you, but don’t expect it. A thank you might come in time or it might not.
Look to Father to ask if you have done ok, and then let what He says to you be enough.

I think that is the end of me drawing lessons from the picture.
Father could add just what you need to hear if you will seek Him for His wisdom.

I would like to add a couple more things.

When you are in times of trouble, the one thing you need most is just simply a good friend.
A good friend who prayed with me and invited me to dinner on a regular basis was a great help to me when I was in need.

In my time of need the one thing I didn’t want was to be someone’s project.
This might be why I was not so inclined to share.
Although at the time I didn’t know (mostly) what to share or ask for in terms of help.

Whatever you do, try to let love be your driving force.
If you are trying to help from any other driving force then you might or might not be a help. If love is your main driving force, then hopefully Father will be guiding your steps.

If Father is leading and guiding you, then expect a break through.
For with Fathers help, all things are possible.